Lower Eats Side

These past few weeks have shown me that transitions are not a simple process. I’ve officially shed any semblance of the person I thought I was, and I continue everyday to chisel at the woman I have been longing to become. All those pretty words are really just masking the “What The Fuck?” part of the process.

I miss my friends. I miss being naive about the social and political state of the world. I miss the whimsy i used to have tingling at my fingertips. I miss myself.

I’ll say, from Fall 2023 to now, I’ve morphed into what sounds good on paper.. but tbh does it ever feel good to be this close to Earth?? Being so grounded in the world cause I’ve been knocked flat on my ass?

Ironically after falling out with my childhood friend last week, I ran into someone new, at an event I could guess God wanted me to attend alone for that very reason. Our conversation touched on grief, God, transitions, zodiac signs, authenticity and the fake plates of food on the table next to us. I felt seen authentically in a room full of influencers pretending to have a good time. Our heart to heart was very much when one door closes, another opens. Now I am not saying he is going to replace my girl, and my bestie and I are still locked in (hopefully) but sometimes releasing a relationship mentally and emotionally is all it takes to truly be free.

Trying to become a new person while the people around you are married to the old you is like trying to heal yet repeatedly drinking poison.. I finally get it why people move from their hometown, or delete their old social media pages, and rebrand on impulse. Shaving my head in 2016 was nothing compared to the reinvention I am going through right now.

I know it sounds like I’m complaining but I’m not, this just feels like a weird limbo and it’s strange. But I’m looking forward to the results of some hard work, gotta show up if you wanna get it done!